~arrrteeest

My stepmother is setting me up with a Japanese dentist. A very handsome Japanese dentist.



ROFL.










Razia's Shadow. It's mindblowing.


~I have no friends, hello.~

at one person so much? man it really eats me up.

I'm waiting for my ipod to update, so I thought I'd do something fun and not interesting to anyone else but myself.

Old.
#Rice Pilaf with steak sauce (lol weird eating habits ahoy)
#Twilight (I like the first book, I'm sure it's because I have no healthy relationship to substitute the ones my imagination makes up. Does that make sense? No. Moving on.)
#Rob Zombie (ever since The Matrix OST, I've been a fan, hahaha)
#Shirley Temples
#Boots

New.
~Steak with steak sauce (dude I love meat so much. I'm thrilled I can eat this much meat and still look somewhat skinny. woooot.)
~True Blood (dude I love this vampire show. The fangs are a bit on the -pussy- side but I'll ignore it if I see hot vamp sex going on. Ew I'm such a pervert baha.)
~Scarves (Nothing says Tombstone like a good ol' scarf that dear ol' Indie rock bands have brought back for all the scene kids to wear and share alike. I am guilty of following this trend. Along with...)
~Vests. (The only time I wish I had absolutely no boobage, so I could wear a vest properly. Men in vests are hoooooooooooooooot.)
~Cherry Limeade. My new -Shirley Temple-.
~Wedge Heels (you don't feel so awkward and uncomfortable as reg. heels!)
~Jewelrey with roses on them. Or Lockets. (my new materialistic obsession next to scarves and vests. Shit.)



Well that's all. I wonder if there are any Bob Dylan fans in Ohio. Man I need to make friends. It's the only time I wish I were in highschool, because it was so easy to meet people. Albeit, some of those people SUCKED ASS, but you get over it.


christ I'm turning 20 in feb. S

the internet is lousy.

played a game called pickle last night with several burn outs. Discovered a comedian named Zac Galifinakis. Made friends with a Bob Dylan fan that had the two awful portraits I did of him in Chem class when I was 16. Also made friends with a retarded happy cat with a broken tail that you could tell was homeless because it only sleeps in its box. So cute. Lost five pounds due to not eating except for fast food which went right through me anyway. overdosed on melatonin, which was odd. natural vitamins, bah. keep getting fevers and nausea, wondering what it's about but paying no mind, just wishing I had the appetite for cake and coffee again. I'm moving to Ohio on Sunday morning. My dad had a psychotic episode that he has conveniently forgotten and I am his number one again, something like that. Bipolar disorders are fantastic. Found out that Pete Wentz is bipolar tonight, and thought to myself, 'wow, I wouldn't want to know him, ever.' Why is it that when everyone I was around with was high they talked about Vietnam? That was most disgusting shower I'd ever taken in my life, the shower I took when I came home from that excursion. Once the water hit my hair, all I smelled was pot and cigarette smoke. Awesome. I get really lazy in showers, and lately, that's my favorite time of day, my shower time. I sit in the tub, hot water falling down on me with my knees drawn up to my chest and I waste water for 30 minutes just thinking about things before I actually start to wash my hair and all that. Californiacation is a really great show, I started laughing so hard. And I saw Pete Wentz, which weirded me out because I had a weird dream with him in it. He was in a house that looked like mine but it was his and his curtains were closed and I was playing with his dog? And I was like hey there are people outside and I go to open his curtains to peek and Ashlee whats-her-face freaks and goes NO DON'T and I was like Oh shit, sorry, I don't hang around famous people often. And we all laughed it off and celebrated Christmas and I woke up. Reminds me of my Frank Zappa museum dream. I hope David Duchovny gets over his porn addiction. His daughter will feel incredibly awkward when she learns what porn is at whatever age you learn that. I still don't know what a Dirty Sanchez is even though I act like I do when someone drunk makes a joke about it and everyone is supposed to laugh. My fat friend shaved his head (I typed heart, that's interesting, shaving your heart, heart shavings.) and he looks like an awful fat white supremacist, it's fantastic to make fun of him for but awful to be with him in public, lol. It looks like he's kidnapping me more than spending time with me voluntarily hahaha. Everyone keeps saying he's in love with me or that we act like a married couple but really I feel nothing. Maybe that's the problem, my lack of feeling. I actually feel a lot, like, muscle fatigue and a splitting headache and my teeth aching because my jaw is shifting because I didn't wear my retainer every night like my bald orthodontist told me to do. Chinappi, hahah. Chin-happy. I swear to the holy pope that I'm not on drugs right now, I'm just incredibly tired and avoiding packing even though I started. Just now at what, almost 1 am? Fabulous. I'm hoping I can see my friend Lauren tomorrow. Friend is such a small word to describe her, really minuscule compared to the way I talk about her and think about her. She's like, a category all on her own. She's the most important person to me next to my sister. Parents I'm just plain tired of caring for. I can't wait until they're old and in diapers and wheelchairs. Am I awful for saying so? I miss my one grandmother. Urgh I still haven't called her to tell her I'm still moving. I just got a job and now I told them I was moving. I feel really bad about that, I really wanted to work and be a good worker for them. Damnit. Still don't have my laptop back, apparently it's not even on file (I called today) which is a load of bullshit, I think. I really want to see the following movies:

(well, obv. I want to buy Iron Man)
Nick and Nora's Infinite Playlist

that's all I can remember. There was another one but I forget. That movie that's making fun of Michael Moore, that would be nice to see. I could walk out halfway into it and not feel bad at all. When is The Incredibly Hulk coming out? I love Liv Tyler and Edward Norton together. I have a brand new pack of pastels I never opened, I'll do that now. I always daydream that I'm meeting Bob Dylan in his twenties when I'm sad or bored. It's nice. My contacts are drying out, I hope I get a job at a bookstore in Ohio. I have to shower again, I'll be too tired to take one in the AM. or too busy.


Hope all of you are well, whoever bothers to read this insane rambling or just skipped to this part of well-wishing. If you're struggling in life, don't keep it inside, it doesn't make you a stronger person if you don't show that struggles affect you. To say that they don't is foolish, and you end up looking like quite the jester in this large court of false kings we are all stuck in. Those of you who don't want to vote and are of age, don't worry, you have every right not to vote. Beware of Russia, they're invading. Keep on keepin' on. And anyone who watched Heroes, please, please, chat with me about the new episode, because everything is ass-backwards and I want to just giggle with someone about that thing Sylar said when Claire was like, "Are you gonna eat it?" ahahahah fucking PRICELESS I tell you.

Good morning.